Today's poems [11.4.08]
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Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it.
Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer,
Get away from my rear. . .
Come around to the front and I'll suck it."
There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.
The Very Very Untitled Poem
To you I write this poem of nonsense
My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
My temper frayed, about to snap
I am the king of talking crap
I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!
I watch TV to ease the friction
Of this internet addiction
But to my dismay, I find
I cannot leave the net behind
The world wide web calls to me
Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost
I`ve been writing for weeks and this
is all I got.
With liquid refreshment as my
Just cider that`s been through
Talkin` `bout my generation.
Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
Light goes on if you pull the cord
Which payment plan can I afford?
Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
"Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
I, robot. I scream!
Never mind. It doesn`t matter
I eat and drink and just get fatter
Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
And leave you lot in peace ;~)
© 1999 Peter Hughes
Sent by Pete Hughes
The nephew of one of the czars
Used to suck off Rasputin at Yars,
Till the peasants revolted,
The royal family bolted -
Now they're under the sickle and stars.
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