Today's poems [11.4.08]

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Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task. 

               There was a young man from Nantucket 
               Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it. 
                    Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer, 
                    Get away from my rear. . . 
               Come around to the front and I'll suck it." 

               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

The Very Very Untitled Poem

 To you I write this poem of nonsense
 My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
 My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
 Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
 My temper frayed, about to snap
 I am the king of talking crap
 I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!

 I watch TV to ease the friction
 Of this internet addiction
 But to my dismay, I find
 I cannot leave the net behind
 The world wide web calls to me
 Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
 
 Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost 
the plot
 I`ve been writing for weeks and this 
is all I got.
 With liquid refreshment as my 
inspiration
 Just cider that`s been through 
refrigeration
 Talkin` `bout my generation.

 Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
 Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
 Light goes on if you pull the cord
 Which payment plan can I afford?

 Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
 "Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
 I, robot. I scream!

 Never mind. It doesn`t matter
 I eat and drink and just get fatter
 Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
 And leave you lot in peace ;~)

 © 1999 Peter Hughes


Sent by Pete Hughes

The nephew of one of the czars 
Used to suck off Rasputin at Yars,
Till the peasants revolted,
The royal family bolted - 
Now they're under the sickle and stars.

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