Today's poems [11.30.08]

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There once was a eunuch of Roylem, 
               Took two eggs to the cook and said, "Boil 'em. 
                    I'll sling 'em beneath 
                    My inadequate sheath, 
               And slip into the harem and foil 'em." 

There was a young lady of Michigan, 
                                        Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again." 
                                                      Said her mother, "That's strange, 
                                                      I'm surprised it ain't mange, 
                                        If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again." 

There was a young man from St. Paul
               Who had really no scruples at all---
                    He would fart when he'd talk,
                    And shit when he'd walk,
               And at night throw it over the wall.

There was an old lady who lay 
            With her legs wide apart in the hay, 
                Then calling the ploughman, 
                She said, "Do it now, man! 
            Don't wait till your hair has turned gray." 

A crooner who lived in Lahore
Got his balls caught in a door.
Now his mezzo soprano
Is rather piano
Though he was a loud basso before.

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