Today's poems [11.20.08]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.

There was a young man in Hong Kong 
               Who grew seven fathoms of prong. 
                    It looked, when erect, 
                    About as you'd expect--- 
               When coiled it did not seem so long. 

There was a young fellow from Eno 
            Who said to his girl, "Now, old Beano, 
                Lift your skirt up in front, 
                And enlarge your old cunt, 
            For the size of this organ is keen-o." 

                    On the breasts of a barmaid named Gail
                            
                    Was tattoo'd the price of her ale.
                            And for the sake of the blind
                            Upon her behind
                            
                    Was the same information in Braille.
                            

                       Vendor's 12 Days of Christmas
     
   
On the 12th day of Christmas my vendor gave to me:

        12 days to set up
        11 acronyms
        10 more megahertz
        9 brand new standards
        8 more megs of RAM
        7 minor upgrades
        6 hidden features
        5 tons of docs
        4 new API's
        3 more months of waiting
        2 more SCSI drives

And a bug fix for Windows NT.

(c) 1993 The Bill Gates of Hell Society
  

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   November '08 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30