Today's poems [11.16.08]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in a fright 
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.

There was a young girl from nace 
            Whose corset just would not lace. 
                Her mother said, "Nellie, 
                There's more in your belly 
            Than ever went in through your face." 

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
   Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
   'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
   on this flute made of beef
   that stole the front page from Kaczynski.


  

               A certain professor named Yarrow 
               Had trouble seducing a sparrow. 
                    When he'd given up hopin' 
                    He pried her jaws open, 
               And filled up her bill with his marrow. 

               There once was a man from Rangoon 
               Who was born 9 months too soon. 
                    He didn't have the luck 
                    To be born by a fuck; 
               He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon. 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   November '08 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30