Today's poems [11.15.08]

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Everything is gone;

Your life's work has been destroyed.

Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

When a woman in strapless attire 
               Found her breasts working higher and higher, 
                    A guest, with great feeling, 
                    Exclaimed, "How appealing! 
               Do you mind if I piss in the fire?" 

There was a young lady named Sue 
            Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw. 
                But one leads to the other, 
                And now she's a mother--- 
            Let this be a lesson to you. 

There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
        And they tickled so nice
        She drew a high price
From the studs at the summer resorts.

Her pimp, a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
        For according to rumor
        His tool had a tumor
And a fine row of warts down the middle.

There was a young girl of Bavaria 
            Who thought her disease ws malaria. 
                But the family doc 
                Remarked to her shock, 
            "It is in the mercurial area." 

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