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Today's jokes [11.6.08]

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What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?? 

The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back. 


A young lady walks into a doctors office. "Doctor I'm suffering from a 
terrible discharge" The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a 
good probe around and says "how does that feel?" Young lady, "Oooh doctor 
that feels lovely..... ...but the discharge is from my ear!!"


A business man got on an elevator in a building.  When he entered the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, 
"T-G-I-F"  (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said 
as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, 
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F,
Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."


A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side
by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly
and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" 
The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." 
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"


A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-
eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" 
"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the 
dog up and has a good look at its eyes. 
"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down" 
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. 
"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.


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