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Today's jokes [11.5.08]

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What's brown and has holes in it?

     - Swiss Shit. 


If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to
    apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days


This very old guy, older than 90, whips back the covers one morning with a 
big hard on.
"What do you think about this, Honey?" he says to his wife.
She says "Now that you have the wrinkles out of it, why don't you wash 


A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a
large farm. He asked for and was given a tour.
As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he'd have
some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk.
The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the
farmer. "Sam," he shouted, "those animals are talking! If that sheep
says anything about me, it's a damned lie!" 


Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.
Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. 
Suzie asked, "You wanna play doctor?" 
Johnny replied, "NO, that too old fashioned.
Spit out you gum, I wanna play president."


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