Today's jokes [11.26.08]
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Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of
golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the
second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for
The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit."
So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to
his buddy and says, "Did you see it?".
"Sure!", says his buddy.
"Where did it go?", the first guy asks.
The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember."
The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't
be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and
Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the
house is robbed while it's burning down.
A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll
in the fields when they came across a cow and a
calf rubbing noses.
"Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to
do the same."
"Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail
all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto
placed his ear to the ground and listened.
"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto.
"How can you tell, Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger.
Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently
divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question
to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.
He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she
wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again.
The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced.
Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should ask
and to not ask that question again. He went away.
A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked
what he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly told
her he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at her
He said, "Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy
divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."
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