Today's jokes [11.25.08]
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I read last week how there are more than one million battered women in
the United States
each year. All these years I've been eating them raw.
Q. What did Adam say to Eve ?
A. You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.
An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, "I
don't know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market
crashed, and I'm afraid we're broke."
The wife says, "No, we're not. Let's go for a drive into town."
Husband replies, "Our savings are all gone and you want is to
go for a drive? Oh well, whatever. I guess you're crazier than
me." So off they go into town.
When they get there the wife points and says, "See that office
building? We own that."
Husband thinks his wife is nuts so he mumbles something
unintelligible and drives to the next area of the city, which just
happens to be the richest part of town.
Wife says again pointing, "See those five houses? We own
Husband is now sure his wife is certifiably crazy so he says,
"What makes you think we own all this property?"
Wife replies, "Remember when we first got married and for
jokes you would give me $5.00 every time we had sex? Well, I
kept the money and invested it and 20 years later this is what
has become of it all. Not bad, eh?"
Husband says, "Dammit woman, if I'd known you were this
good with money I'd have probably given you all my business."
What is the difference between a hockey game
and a High School reunion?
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
What has four asses?
Eight half assed politicians.
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