Today's jokes [11.12.08]
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What's another term for cunnilingus?
What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
Check the family tree.
A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at
What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."
What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
A1: One more bullet.
A2: A season lift pass.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the
checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "Your husband is
suffering from severe, long-term stress and it's affecting his
cardiovascular system. He's a good candidate for either a heart attack
or a stroke. If you don't do the following four things, your husband
will surely die".
"First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to
work in a good mood."
"Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him
in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work."
"Third, for dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him
with household chores."
"Fourth, and most important for invigorating him and relieving stress,
have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim in
On the way home in the car, the husband turned to his wife and asked,
"So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What
did he tell you?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
What did the normal baby say to the test tube baby?
Ha..ha... your dad's a jerk off!
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose
levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and
asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as
in male semen?"
"That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she
had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was
Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste
sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not the back of your throat."
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