Today's jokes [11.1.08]

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This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat
on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my
front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and
I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing
somebody!"

What is the smartest blonde?

A golden retriever

Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

Never mind it's pointless. 

My wife and I are into S & M

She Sleeps and I masturbate


Sent by Richard

The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club.  "Hey, baby, 
would you help me 'raise my mast'?"

"No thanks," she said sweetly.  "I heard about you from your 
ex and she included a 'small craft' warning."

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