Today's quotes [10.22.08]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"If looks could kill... she'd have a nasty bruise."
                        -- me

"Paper can KILL if it's thrown hard enough, sometimes."
                        -- James "Kibo" Parry

Some congressmen are so upset about how much the
government pays farmers not to grow wheat, that
they want more money not to accept bribes. 

"Adrian is my inverse chaperone. He checks up on me to see if I'm doing
 anything, and if I'm not he tells me to do something."
                        -- me

One of the reasons Jimmy Carter is so popular in the south is that he has no accent. 

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   October '08 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31