Today's poems [10.4.08]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

(To the tune of 'Yesterday')

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.

A Fishy 'Tail' of Woe

I've been hooked
I've been iced
I've been scaled
and then sliced

I've been stacked
I've been looked at
dipped in batter
and cooked in fat

I've been sold
I've been bought
then been wrapped
next to a chook

I've been driven
I've been opened
served with chips
who have not spoken

I've been picked at
I've been deboned
drenched in lemon juice
I feel so alone

I've been forked
I've been cut
I think I'm running
out of luck

Now he bites me
And despite me
best efforts
I'm done...like a dinner!

Copyright; Arcadia Flynn 

Over the lips, and down the throat,
May you never wake up, next to a goat.

Fornication

Copyright; Robyn Scott
From her book 'It's Just a Matter of Perspective'

Email: robyns@liscity.nsw.gov.au

SEX is a TRANSACTION,
With emotional currency,
You're either lucky or an arsehole,
If you're getting it for free,
Some are prepared to barter flesh,
For company or affection,
A house, a car, a family,
Money or protection,
When morality is attached to
Guilt can reduce the pleasure,
Whereby with uninhibited
Comes ecstasy without measure.

There are those whom believe that, SEX is just for procreation,
While there are others for whom it is, Their favourite recreation,
There are people who only have,
SEX over the phone,
And others who are happy,
To do it on their own,
There are some who really get off,
On lingerie and leather,
And those who simply prefer,
To masturbate together.

A Guy's Job

A guy sticks his location,
In a girl's destinstion,
To increase the population,
For the next generation.
Do you get my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?

Copyright; Emanuel Udrija 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   October '08 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31