Today's jokes [10.9.08]

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Buford: Man, have you got a drinking problem! Mongo: The hell I do! 
Buford: The hell you don't!
Mongo: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink...I get drunk...I fall 
down. No problem! 

Don was looking for a little "action."  He picked up a sweet young thang 
at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. 
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. 
After six times, she was screaming for more.  After the *eighth* time, Don 
told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped in the men's room. He stood in front of the 
urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his 
dick.  After a couple of minutes of "fishing around," he finally said, 
"Look, it's ok.  She's not here!"

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. 

A man went to his dentist because he feels something
wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is
eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all
I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made
some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was
delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put
it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollindaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is
highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make
you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why
chrome?" asks the patient. 

To which the dentist replies,
"It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like
chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes?
A: In France.

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