Today's jokes [10.6.08]
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At a government affair, the wives of four world
leaders are chatting about how people refer to a
penis in their countries.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people
call it a gentleman, because it stands up when
women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call
it a patriot, because you never know if it will
hit you on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a
curtain, because it goes down after the act.
With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says
in the USA you call it a rumor, because it
goes from mouth to mouth...
Sent by Igor
Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I
want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days." and Moses
says "Yeah sure." So Jesus gets up and says "I think I'll walk on the
water, that was always a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of the
boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back
into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?" and
Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"
When is premature ejaculation a serious problem?
When it occurs between "hello" and "what's your sign?"
Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever.
Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!"
"Play swords?" asked the other. "How?" "Simple. Whip it out, smack
it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords."
So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking
their dicks together playing swords.
Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions.
"We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums.
The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming
exhausted. "I'm tired," he said. He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill
One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class
"What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?"
Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to
pick on him she chose little Mary.
"I think your heart goes first because, that's were your emotions
of love are."
"Very interesting." replied the teacher. Seeing no one else had
their hand raised but Johnny, she finally called on him.
"I think your feet go up first."
Confused but relieved the teacher said, "Why is that?"
Johnny replied, "Once when I walked in my parents room I saw my
dad on my mom, and she had her feet in the air saying "Oh God!"
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