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Today's jokes [10.31.08]

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What are 3 problems about being an egg?

You only get laid once, the only woman to sit on your face
is your mother, and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.


A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could.
'God,' he prayed, 'I really want a car.'
Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty.
'God,' he prayed again, 'I really NEED a car.'
Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his 
parents' bedroom, and grabbed the statuette of the Virgin Mary off the 
mantelpiece. He wrapped it up in ten layers of paper, using three rolls of 
tape and a spool of twine, then stuffed it inside a box at the very bottom 
of his closet.
'Okay, God,' he said, getting down onto his knees again, 'if you ever want 
to see your mother again...'


The Hotel Odeon in Paris is offering tourists a 'Diana Tour' - a 
personal reenactment of Princess Diana's last night alive.  For 
$50 extra you can enjoy the "Land Mind Obstacle Course".


The tri stages of sex in marriage-





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