Today's jokes [10.30.08]

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Software Development Process



1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team

2) Announce availability

3) Write the code

4) Write the manual

5) Hire a Product Manager

6) Spec the software
        (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the
        software meets the specifications)

7) Ship

8) Test
        (the customers are a big help here)

9) Identify bugs as potential enhancements

10) Announce the upgrade program

The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of 
the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors 
work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to 
ICU, where therapy continues. 

In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his 
room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are 
completely well. You have the heart function that you did when 
you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home 
tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any 
physical exercise that you like." 

Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his 
wife: "Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no 
worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to 
make love like you've never had before, wild, passionate 
sex....you'll love it!"

Doris thinks for a minute and says, "I don't know, Sol. I've heard 
about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on 
my head if you croak while we are making love. Maybe, just 
maybe, if your doctor wrote a note to me saying that everything 
was OK... maybe I would have such sex with you...." 

Mr. Steinberg was dejected, but the next day he was in his 
doctor's office; his doctor tells him, "Sure, sure, Sol, no 
problem, I'll write the note. Let's see, here's my prescription 
pad: "Mr. Sol Steinberg, a patient of mine, has the heart 
function of a fifteen-year-old lad and can have mad, passionate, 
adventurous sex any time that he so desires, signed, Dr. Aaron 
Katz....... Now, I'll just address this.......By the way, Sol, what's 
your wife's first name?" 

"Uh, Doctor, could you just make that, 'To Whom It May 
Concern"?

I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, think
about it --  if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handles
by now?

An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating
for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy,
"We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two
rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate
food and cooking separate meals. We should just
move in together. 

Betsy: Whose house would we live in? 
Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for. 
Betsy: Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on? 
Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine. 
Betsy: Who would do the cooking? 
Elmer: You cook and I'll do the dishes. 
Betsy: What about sex? 
Elmer: Infrequently. 
Betsy: Is that one word or two?

Where does Peter Pan eat?

Wendy's

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