Today's jokes [10.3.08]

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It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin.  I 
slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was 
turning it on.  It became firm in my hands, and the end was 
wet.  Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.

Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking
a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is
frowning and looking put out.

The egg mutters to no one in particular,
"I guess we answered that question." 

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa.

A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.
THE DR. ASKS,"IS YOUR DAUGHTER  SEXUALLY ACTIVE?"
THE REDNECK SAYS,"NAW,  SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER.

Sent by BOBBY

Q:What do you call two guys in a sleepping bag?
A: A gay time.... 

Sent by Lara

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