Today's jokes [10.25.08]

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Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien 
Civilization... 

Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system 
at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your 
star system at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other 
star systems. Within one-tenth of a galactic rotation you will 
receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy 
reaches its maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large 
supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here 
in the supermarket.  Can you talk to me for a couple of 
minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife
appears out of nowhere."

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

Waiter: "How did you find your steak, sir,"? 
Young Man: "Quite accidentally, I assure you. 
I moved that piece of lettuce and there it was." 

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