Today's stories [1.5.08] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
I started a new job the other day, and while riding the elevator, noticed a sign which read (THIS IS NOT MADE-UP): "If elevator should malfunction or doors not open, don't be alarmed. Please press the alarm button." Is it just me, or does anybody else find this outrageously funny?
My brother snores soo loud. Recently we went out west for vacation, and he didn't snore at all...except the first night we were there. It got to be so bad that I took my pillow, sheet, and blanket and went into the bathroom to sleep. I put my stuff in the bathtub, shut the door, and fell asleep in the tub. Me, being the sound sleeper that I am, didn't hear the door open when my brother had to use the toilet. Seeing me fast asleep in the bathtub, he turned the water on. I slept right through the whole thing until morning, when my sheet and blanket were soaked by lukewarm water. I thought I wet the bed until my brother confessed a few days later.
My brother was his graduating class's validictorian. When he stood up to speak, all was going just fine, until he closed with, "and in closing I'll just say that there are two great honors a man can hope to achieve in his lifetime. And these two honors are, GET ON HER and STAY ON HER !" The crowd busted a gut laughing, but my father was in big hot water since Mom knew exactly who had coached my brother with that one. Sent by Jennifer
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31