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Today's stories [1.5.08]

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I started a new job the other day, and while riding the elevator,
noticed a sign which read (THIS IS NOT MADE-UP):

        "If elevator should malfunction or doors not open, 
        don't be alarmed.  Please press the alarm button."

Is it just me, or does anybody else find this outrageously funny?

1. 




My brother snores soo loud.  Recently we went out west for 
vacation, and he didn't snore at all...except the first night we 
were there.  It got to be so bad that I took my pillow, sheet, and 
blanket and went into the bathroom to sleep.  I put my stuff in 
the bathtub, shut the door, and fell asleep in the tub.  Me, being 
the sound sleeper that I am, didn't hear the door open when my 
brother had to use the toilet.  Seeing me fast asleep in the 
bathtub, he turned the water on.  I slept right through the whole 
thing until morning, when my sheet and blanket were soaked by 
lukewarm water.  I thought I wet the bed until my brother 
confessed a few days later.

2. 




My brother was his graduating class's validictorian.

When he stood up to speak, all was going just fine, until he closed 
with, "and in closing I'll just say that there are two great honors a man 
can hope to achieve in his lifetime. And these two honors are, GET ON HER 
and STAY ON HER !"  The crowd busted a gut laughing, but my father was in 
big hot water since Mom knew exactly who had coached my brother with that 
one.  


Sent by Jennifer

3. 



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