Today's stories [1.15.08]

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Representative Tim Moore sponsored a resolution in the Texas House of Representatives in 
Austin, Texas calling on the House to commend Albert de Salvo for his unselfish service to 
"his country, his state and his community." 

The resolution stated that "this compassionate gentleman's dedication and devotion to his work 
has enabled the weak and the lonely throughout the nation to achieve and maintain a new degree 
of concern for their future. He has been officially recognized by the state of Massachusetts 
for his noted activities and unconventional techniques involving population control and applied
psychology." 

The resolution was passed unanimously. 

Representative Moore then revealed that he had only tabled the motion to show how the 
legislature passes bills and resolutions often without reading them or understanding what 
they say. Albert de Salvo was the Boston Strangler. 

Anything for an A



     A student comes to a young professor's office hours.  She
glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
     "I would do *anything* to pass this exam."  She leans closer
to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
     "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...*anything*."
     He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice softens. "*Anything*??"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...*study*?"

                                 - A TRUE STORY (FROM DARTMOUTH)

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
   her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
   able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
   minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
   car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
   car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied
   "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
   When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
   Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
   at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near
   spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
   trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's
   sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
   charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
   The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
   Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
   cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
   cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
   the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
   frustrated, walked away.


  

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