Today's quotes [1.5.08] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"The meek will inherit the earth - but not the mineral rights." - J. Paul Getty
"... you haven't seen untidiness until you've seen a room where the gravity has failed twice in different directions." -- Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
"High heels will make your legs look more elegant. Now, how can you shave them without my wife finding out?" - Dave Henry
"| <- You must be smarter than this stick to ride the Internet" -- Mike Handler, paraphrased from Bev White
"... hush my darling, be still my darling, the lion's on the phone..." -- to the tune of "The lion sleeps tonight", They Might Be Giants, "The Guitar"
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