Today's quotes [1.24.08]

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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe 
swelling. So what's the problem?

                 -Jay Leno

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a 
plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across
that floor. I told him he was grounded.

                 -Tim Allen

If you can't beat them...arrange to have them beaten.
                 -George Carlin

Lieberman's law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.

Denniston's law:
Virtue is its own punishment.

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