Today's poems [1.5.08]

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There once was a man from Sydney
Who stuck it in up to her kidney
But a man from Quebec
Got it up to her neck
He had a big one didn't he!

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP
WITH THE BOY ACROSS THE STREET
WONT MY DADDY BE DISGUSTED 
ONCE HE SEE'S MY CHERRY'S BUSTED
AND WONT MY MOMMY BE SURPRISED
WHEN SHE SEE'S MY BELLY RISE

Sent by JESSICA

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

There was a young lady from Brussels 
            Who was proud of her vaginal muscles. 
                She could easily plex them 
                And so interflex them 
            As to whistle love songs through her bustles.

                             Ode to The Bobbits
     
   
There once was a Bobbitt named John
Who thaught he was quite the Don Juan
His wife disagreed
So the next time he wee'd
John couldn't locate his wand.

Lorena wished John could be nicer
But he wasn't much of a de-icer
If she finds a new spouse
Let us hope he's no louse
Or we might have our first serial slicer.

A surgeon was filled with great tension
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention
He stitched and he sewed
Used all the skills that he knowed
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.

John Bobbitt was never a loner
In fact, he was known as a roamer
His wife seized his prize
And cut him to size
Now he is his own organ donor.

There once was a crime most venal
One might say 'twas inches from renal
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short
Her intentions were nothing but penal.

The Bobbitt case sure is a dilly
Though it sounds a little bit silly
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker
She said she was trying to Free Willy.
  

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