Today's poems [1.28.08]

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There once was a man from Kartomb
Who was exceedingly fond of the womb.
He thought nothing finer
Than the human vagina,
So he kept three of four in his room 

There once was a eunuch of Roylem, 
               Took two eggs to the cook and said, "Boil 'em. 
                    I'll sling 'em beneath 
                    My inadequate sheath, 
               And slip into the harem and foil 'em." 

Mary had a little lamb,
     Its fleece was slightly grey.
     It didn't have a father,
     Just some borrowed DNA.

     It sort of had a mother,
     Though the ovum was on loan.
     It was not so much a lambkin
     As a little lamby clone.

     And soon it had a fellow clone,
     And soon it had some more.
     It made the children laugh and sing,
     The teachers found it droll;
     There were too many lamby clones
     For Mary to control.

     No other could control the sheep
     Since their programs didn't vary,
     So the scientists resolved it all
     By simply cloning Mary.

     But now they feel quite sheepish,
     Those scientists unwary.
     One problem solved, but what to do
     With Mary, Mary, Mary?

                                  Boot It
                                      
                          (to the tune of Beat It)
     
   
    You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
    Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
    The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
    Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

    Better think fast, better do what you can,
    Read the manual or call your system man,
    Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
    So BOOT IT,

    Get the system manager to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Even though you'd rather shoot it.
    Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
    All that you do is flip a little switch.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Get right down and restitute it.
    Don't get excited, all is not lost.
    CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS
    Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...

    You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
    The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
    Right then the thing dies but you know what to do,
    BOOT IT.

    You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
    And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
    But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
    So BOOT IT,

    Call the local guru to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Go ahead re-institute it.
    If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
    But if you are, it'll do it itself.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Then go find the guy who screwed it!
    Operating systems are built to bounce back,
    Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.

    BOOT IT!     BOOT IT!
  

Stoners live and stoners die, but in 
the end we all get high, so is in life 
you dont succeed, fuck it all an' smoke 
some weed!!!

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