Today's poems [1.20.08]

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Alas for a preacher named Hoke, 
            Whose shit was all stuck in his poke. 
                He farted a blast 
                That left hearers aghast, 
            But nothing emerged but some smoke. 

               A girl attending Bryn Mawr 
               Committed a dreadful faux pas. 
                    She loosened a stay 
                    In her decollete, 
               Exposing her je-ne-sais-quoi 

                    There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.
                            

A daring young maid from Dubuque 
               Risked a rather decided rebuke 
                    By receiving a prude 
                    In the absolute nude, 
               But he gasped, "If you only could cook!"

A sempstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
            Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                She first got a crown, 
                But her prices went down--- 
            Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine. 

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