Today's poems [1.16.08]

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               There was a young fellow named Gluck 
               Who found himself shit out of luck. 
                    Though he petted and wooed, 
                    When he tried to get screwed 
               He found virgins just don't give a fuck. 

When she wanted a new way to futter 
               He greased her behind with butter; 
                    Then, with a sock, 
                    In went his jock, 
               And they carried her home on a shutter. 

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

There once were two ladies from Birmingham 
               That dealy with matters not concerning them. 
                    They reached under the robes 
                    And tickled the globes 
               Of the bishop that then was confirming them 

               Now this bishop he wasn't a fool, 
               He knew what to do with that duel. 
                    He whipped off his britches 
                    And gave those two bitches 
               A foot of episcople tool. 

The Camel

The sexual needs of a camel
are greater than anyone thinks.
For once in a moment of passion
it attempted to ravish the Sphinx.

The Sphinx's posterior entrance
was clogged by the sands of the Nile,
which accounts for the hump on the camel
and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile :)

Sent by FLG

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