Today's poems [1.15.08]

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                    A Chinaman hailing from Woozee
                            
                    Once laid an American floozie.
                            "How different," he cried,
                            As he slid it inside,
                            
                    "To diddle a vertical coozie!"
                            
                                              

Dirty Old Hag



Here's to Mag that dirty old hag,
That slick and slimy old bitch,
From her nose green matter flows,
And from her toes green maggots grow.
Before I climb those scaly legs
And chew those festered tits,
I'll drink three quarts of drunkard's puke
and die with the drizzled shits.

Smoking reefer didn't cause him to fail, 
               And that Lewinsky affair is a tale. 
                    These two things they will name, 
                    When the defense makes its claim, 
               That neither Bill nor the girl did inhale. 

A Turk by the name of Haroun
Ate whisky by means of a spoon
To one who asked why
This turk made reply:
"To drink is forbidden, you loon."

It was under the old apple tree 
               That she first showed it to me. 
                    It was ever so hot, 
                    It was shaped like a slot, 
               But it looked like a subway to me. 

               With a twinlke so full in her eye, 
               She craftily mangled my fly. 
                    Out popped a tool 
                    That was long as a rule 
               And she sank to her knees with a sigh. 

               She proceeded to lube up my tool 
               With lots of her natural drool. 
                    My knees gave a shake, 
                    My breath hard to make, 
               And my tool throbbed away like a fool. 

               With a magnificent shake of her head, 
               She threw me down onto the bed. 
                    The apples so round, 
                    The leaves on the ground 
               Made my tool like a sail on the Med. 

               The subway engulfed all my tool. 
               She rocked like she's riding a mule. 
                    My tool gave a jerk, 
                    Let out a hot squrt, 
               And flooded her subway with jooul. 

               As the sun sank slow in the west, 
               She rose up and off of my chest. 
                    The tool flopped out bent 
                    It was terribly spent-- 
               She absorbed all the best of the rest! 

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