Today's jokes [1.6.08]

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I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my 
secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an 
agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.

She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is four 
hundred a week."

I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. 

She shook her head and replied, "With pleasure, it'll be $600 
a week."

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women
around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off 
on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one 
chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard 
of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the 
greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," 
replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING 
VIRGINIA PIPELINE"

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter
and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

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