Today's jokes [1.29.08]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, "You'll
never believe it, dear, but I've discovered an entirely new position
for lovemaking."
"Really," said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. "What is it?"
"Back to back."
"But that's crazy. We can't do anything back to back."
"Yes we can. I've persuaded another couple to help out." 

Top 15 Household Pet Dishes



15> Angelfish Cake
14> Hamster and Cheese on Rye
13> Chow Chow Mein
12> Bran Muffy
11> Eggs BenjiDict
10> Yorkieshire pudding
 9> Shih-Tzu Kabobs
 8> Potbelly Pig in a Blanket
 7> Shrimp Cockatiel
 6> Fettucine AlFido
 5> Chicken Poodle Soup
 4> Turtlellini
 3> Lhasa Thermidor
 2> Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas
 1> I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes

   [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
   [  *To forward or repost, please include this section.*  ]
   [ The Top Five List    top5@walrus.com   www.topfive.com ]

Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he 
wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he 
wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, 
bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with his teeth. The farmer said, 
"This one will go a little over a 100". Astonished the Yankee said, "Who 
are you trying to fool? You can't weigh a pig that way". The farmer 
laughed and called to his young son, "Boy, come over here and weigh that 
pig for this man". The boy obliged by bending over and picking up the pig 
by its tail with his teeth. Turning to his father the boy said, " This 
here pig weighs about 100 pounds". The Yankee was having no part of this 
so in order to convince him the farmer told his son to go to the house and 
get his mother so she could weigh the pig. After a short delay the son 
returned and said, "Ma says she will be right down after she's finished 
weighing the mailman". 

A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment.
"Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends
three hours every night in your apartment?"
Mrs Smith replied. "Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a
tonic for me." 

John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.

Mary: Are you wearing it now?

John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, though. But it's top 
of the line.

Mary: What kind is it?

John: Twelve-thirty.

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '08 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31