Today's jokes [1.28.08]

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Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?"

Jesus says, "Just hanging around."

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for
their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on
that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked
the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in
front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you
thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark 
attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend 
that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as 
possible." 

"If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump." 

Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by 
a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the 
nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the 
dog's neck.
A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy. "A brave New Yorker saves friend from vicious animal", 
he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not from New York" the boy replies.
"I'm visiting from Kentucky!"
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
"Redneck bastard kills family pet".

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve ?

"Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !"

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