Today's jokes [1.25.08]

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What did one gay sperm say to the other? 

     - I can't find my way through all this shit. 

I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard,
"Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs
were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she
putting up a Hell of a fight and wouldn't let go. 
I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking
and pretend I didn't see anything... I finally decided
that I should help. 
It didn't take the three of us very long to get her handbag. 

Some beauty parlors do a great job.
One young man followed a young woman
for twenty blocks. Then he found out
it was his grandmother.

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. 
Not wishing to be alone, he calls an "escort" service for some company. 
Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives.  Without preamble the hooker
says, "I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that's
for a hand job."  "$500 for a hand job? Why, that's outrageous!" the man
exclaimed. " No hand job in the world could be worth $500!"  The hooker
summons the man to the window and points down onto the parking lot below. 
"See that cherry red Maserati down there?  I own that because of what I can
do with my hands."  Against his better judgement, the man pays the $500 and
sure enough the hooker sends him into utter bliss, by far the best sexual
experience of his life.  After he recuperates he says to  the hooker, "God
that was fantastic!!  How much for a blowjob?"  "$2500," the hooker replied. 
"$2500 for a blowjob?"  Cried the astonished man.  "That's way too much!" 
Again the hooker summons the man to the window,  this time  pointing across
the street.  "Do you see that large medical building right off the strip there? 
I own that because of what I can do with my mouth." " Oh no," moans the man,
"this is gonna break me, but I just have to try it."  Once again the hooker
takes him to the edge of the universe and back, far surpassing the pleasure
he received earlier, leaving him utterly drained and totally gratified. 
As soon as the man can speak again, he says, "I just have to know.  How much
do you get for pussy?"  The hooker drags the man to the window for a third
time, points and proclaims, "Do you see the MGM Grand Hotel sitting there on
the corner?  I could own that if I had a pussy!"

Sent by TJ

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