Today's jokes [1.22.08]

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months 
 - I don't like to interrupt her.

   One night the Norse god Thor was feeling a bit horny so he decided to
   come down to earth
   to satisfy his needs. He picked up a good looking woman with a great
   shape and they went
   to her apartment she only had one small problem, she had a speech
   impediment, but this
   didn't affect their sex. They went at it hot and heavy all night long
   then in the morning
   Thor had to leave so he decided he should at least tell her his name,
   so he said to her, "I'm
   Mighty Thor and I have to leave now." She looked at him and said,
   "You're thore I'm tho
   thore I can hardly pith."
   

A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the 
beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging 
the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the 
shoulder and said, "Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on 
fire!"

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual
   event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and
   read his essay.
   
   It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
   
   "My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
   
   "He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
   

Barbie and G.I. Joe                                                               

    A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her
    turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What
    would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

    The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe."
    Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,
    "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

    "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe,
    she fakes it with Ken."

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