Today's stories [7.25.07]

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Bumper sticker seen on a stealth bomber:

     "If you can read this, then we wasted 50 billion bucks." 

Last winter I was laid up at home with the flu. My fiancee' called and 
volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to me. I 
declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told 
me, "Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest ofour 
lives making each other sick!"

PORTLAND, OR - A man was admitted to an emergency clinic with severe
bruising and lacerations on his penis and testicles, caused in an accident
involving a hand held vacuum cleaner. The man had been vacuuming, wearing
only a bathrobe, when he tripped, having been distracted because his robe
fell open. "It always does that," he said. "I keep meaning to rig up some
kind of tie for it, but I never do. I guess I'll get around to it now." He
fell on the vacuum and the small beater bar of the device caused enough
damage to require fifteen stitches and an overnight stay at the clinic.

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