Today's stories [7.2.07]

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Chicago --30-year-old Emad Haddad was shot and killed Friday
afternoon after chasing two men who'd robbed his store-Sunburst
Food and Liquors-on Chi-Town's bright and glamorous 79th Street.

According to cops, two gents toting semi-auto pistols robbed the
store's registers. Witnesses say Emad The Genius (as he will be
remembered) ran after the men with a two-shot derringer and took
a shot at 'em. They returned the favor with a hail of bullets.
Haddad was struck in the head and died on the spot. 

In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, Calif.,
as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the large flashlight he had
placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) crammed against the
base of his skull as he hit the floor. 

Blondes Protective Computer Gear

Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new
secretary (a very attractive blonde) in the office down the hall from
me.

She flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work,
can you help me ?" she asked. I told her I'd take a look and
proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear
plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.

While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging
out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Dave, in the hall
trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief,
I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

"Oh, you mean the condom!", she said. "Condom???", I asked. "Yes,
John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk
before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses."

By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was all I could do to
keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5"
plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke
had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked
(as serious as one could be), "Does that mean I don't have to stroke
it ten times or blow on it either???"

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