Today's quotes [7.8.07]

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You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning
all the time. Why, just fifty years ago they thought a disease
like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft.
But nowadays, we know that Isabelle is suffereing from an imbalance
of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living
in her stomach. 

     - Theodoric of York, Saturday Night Live 

Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.

* Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons
a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an
entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. 

     - Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry 

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only
profession that teach our children." 

    - J. Danforth Quayle,
      former U.S. Vice-President, September 18, 1990 

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