Today's poems [7.4.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

DR. SUESS ON PCS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, 
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, 
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, 
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, 
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, 
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, 
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, 
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, 
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, 
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, 
and you screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, 
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, 
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, 
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, 
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM. 
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

Copyright © Gene Ziegler

Email: Gene_Ziegler@Cornell.edu

There's a man in the Bible portrayed 
            As one deeply engrossed in his trade. 
                He became quite elated 
                Over things he created, 
            Especially the women he made. 

                  A Poem Written by an African Shakespeare
     
   
 Dear white fella
 Couple things you should know
 When I born, I black
 When I grow up, I black
 When I go in sun, I black
 When I cold, I black
 When I scared, I black
 When I sick, I black
 And when I die, I still black.

 You white fella
 When you born, you pink
 When you grow up, you white
 When you go in sun, you red
 When you cold, you blue
 When you scared, you yellow
 When you sick, you green
 And when you die, you grey.
 And you have the cheek to call me colored?????  

"At a seance," said a young man named Post, 
            "I was being sucked off by a ghost; 
                Someone switched on the lights 
                And there in guaze tights, 
            On his knees, was Tobias mine host."

There was a young student of Yale 
                                        Who was getting his first piece of tail. 
                                                      He shoved in his pole, 
                                                      But in the wrong hole, 
                                        And a voice from beneath yelled: "No sale!" 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   July '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31