Today's poems [7.17.07]

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            A sadistic young cook, Miss McDillet 
            Gets very upset when you fill it. 
                When she's done and hops off, 
                She lops your thing off, 
            And sautés it up in a skillet. 

I was desperate, I was weary
I prayed for holy guidance from above
I thought she came to lead me through the darkness
But then I felt a probing rubber glove...

There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save The Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. 

               There was a young man of the Tweed 
               Who sucked his wife's arse thro' a reed. 
                    When she had diarrhoea 
                    He'd let none come near, 
               For fear they should poach on his feed. 

               There was a young girl from Peru 
               Who badly wanted to screw. 
                    She tried a broom-handle 
                    And the end of a candle, 
               But threw them away for a Jew. 

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