Today's poems [7.16.07]

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               There was a young girl of Samoa 
               Who determined that no man should know her. 
                    One young fellow tried 
                    But she wriggled aside, 
               And spilled all the spermatozoa. 

Hit By A Bus     By Andy Christopfel

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this 
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet 
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS

Sent by andrew christopfel

               There once was a boring young Reverend 
               Who preached till it seemed he would never end. 
                    His hearers, en masse, 
                    Got a pain in the ass, 
               And prayed--- for relief of their nether end. 

Part 1 of 2:
   
                    There was a young girl with a pretty-ass,
                            
                    And her habits were neat but invidious.
                            She would wipe with a taper
                            Of scented blue paper,
                            
                    Since she was so very fastidious.
                            

It Hurts
             I'm sure you can't imagine
             it's as simple as can be
             the place is very private
             the players are he and she

             She whispers softly it will hurt
             of course not he replied
             It's just a simple proscess
             lay back and close your eyes

             She say's I'm rather frightned
             I've never done this before
             He wanted to continue
             it won't hurt much more

             It's getting rather painfull
             as tears come to her eyes
             it's hurting something awful
             it must be quite a size

             Calm yourself my darling
             the pleasure refolds your sin
             Now open slightly
             so I can fit more in

             Suddenly with a jerk
             she gave a shout
             Now that it's all over with
             He slowly pulled it out

             *Now if you read this carefully
              you will find
              it's not what you think
              it's just your dirty mind

              It is just a visit to the dentist!!!

              Sent by Tamara

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