Today's jokes [7.9.07]

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An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist 
attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:
"How large is the population here?"
"Around 1.5 billion" -- the guide answers
American, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

How does a women hold her liquor?

By the ears.

I recently tried some of these new 'flavoured' condoms. I bought one of 
each flavour they had, and tried each one in turn every time i got a shag. 
My girlfriend likes to lick each one before i insert it in her, just to 
see what flavour i was wearing.
The first night she said "Mmmmm, Cherry flavour",
The second night she said "Mmmmm, Mint flavour",
The third night she said "Mmmmm, Strawberry flavour",
and so on, until we had reached the final flavour,
and she said "Mmmmm, Cheese flavour"
"Cheese flavour ??" i said "I haven't put one on yet!"

A girl runs home to her mother crying, "I can't marry Joe! He's an 
atheist! He doesn't believe in God or Jesus or anything! "Don't worry, 
Honey," said her mom. "But Mom, he doesn't even believe in Hell! "Don't 
worry, Honey," repeated her mom, "you marry him...and we'll convince him!"

Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and 
scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom 
standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and 
groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, 
Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third 
night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there 
is a man in bed with his mom.
Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest 
and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike." 

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