Today's jokes [7.5.07]

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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his 
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that 
such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men 
were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here 
lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the 
tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!" 

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I 
can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see 
what I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off 
your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the 
way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put 
your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," 
he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girls
in the office had removed their clothes and were lying 
on the floor naked. She lost no time in taking off her 
dress and joining them, but as soon as she laid down
the girl on her right hissed, "Turn over, Mary - this is 
a stock up, not an office party!"

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates
of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a
long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life.
Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy.
I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disspeared inside. After
a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you are 82.
I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..." 

The dean of women at an exclusive girl's college was lecturing her 
students on sexual morality. "In moments of temptation," said the speaker 
to the class, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure 
worth a lifetime of shame?"
A sweet young thing in the back of the room rose to ask: "How do you make 
it last an hour?"

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