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Today's jokes [7.4.07]

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                          The Numbers of the Beast
     
   
OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

660             - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI          - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000        - Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666           - Number of the Millibeast
/ 666           - Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1)      - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010      - Binary of the Beast
6, uh... what was that number again?
                - Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666           - Area code of the Beast
00666           - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666: - Live Beasts!  One-on-one pacts!  Call Now!
                  Only $6.66/minute.  Over 18 only please.
$665.95         - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25         - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95         - Price of the Beast with all accessories and
                  replacement soul
$656.66         - Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66         - Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666    - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666       - Way of the Beast
666 F           - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k            - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg          - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 %          - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell
                  National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6     - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66       - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686          - CPU of the Beast
666i            - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised)
                - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668             - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
  


1. 




A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi were fishing from a boat
not from the lake shore. The pastor had to make a trip to the port-a-potty
located on the shore, so he got out of the boat, walked across the water 
and in the same matter, came back to the boat after he was finished. A 
little later, the priest had to make the trip also. He got out of the 
boat, walked across the water, visited the bathroom and in the same 
manner, came back to the boat. Still later, the rabbi needed to go ashore. 
He got out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the 
priest and said,
"Do you think we ought to tell him where the rocks are?"

2. 




What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?

Crib death.

3. 




What do Arabs do on saturday night?

They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

4. 




What's the difference between women and men? 

     One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness. 

5. 



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