Today's jokes [7.16.07]

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   After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple
   finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant.
   After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The
   new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel
   like honey ?"
   
   "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"

The world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death
of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old.
Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately
8:42PM last evening.
Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and
going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and
relatives, was alone at the time of his death.
An autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief medical
Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was
acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation.

Apparently, someone had put Mr.Bunny's batteries in backwards,
and he kept coming, and coming and coming..... 

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, 
clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for
their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time
standing up. 
Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" 
They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. 
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any 
worse than it is. 
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. 
Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." 
Rippington walks over to the Smith house and knocks on the door.
The wife answers and asks what he wants. 
Rippington says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." 
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" 
Rippington says, "I'll tell him."

Q: What kind of bees give milk?
A: Boob-ees.

What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? 

    A pizza can feed a family of four. 

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