Today's jokes [7.14.07]

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The strong young man at the construction site was bragging 
that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a 
special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After 
several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. 
"I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a 
wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to 
wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you 
got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the 
handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. 
Get in."

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their
   dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband
   had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed
   to the wife that it always took him way too long to return.
   
   One time the wife had had enuff and actually pounded on the wall
   between the two apartments. There being no response she telephoned,
   only to get the answering machine. Finally she went to the model's
   door and just kept ringing the bell.
   
   When the model answered, the wife fumed,"I would like to know why it
   is my husband takes so damn long to get something over here."
   
   "Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these interruptions sure ain't
   helping none either."

Frivolous Old Gal



I have become a little older since I last saw you and a few changes have come
into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five
gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go see John. Next, Charlie Horse comes along and when he is here, he
takes a lot of time and attention. When he leaves Arthur Ritis shows up and
stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he
takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and
glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with
Al Zymer.

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said that at my age, I
should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, "Oh, I do all the time.
No matter where I am: in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the
basement, I ask myself, now what am I hereafter?"

This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions.

guy: "Why are girls so pretty?"
God: "So you'll like them."

guy: "Why are girls soft?"
God: "So you'll like them."

guy: "Why are girls so dumb?"
God: "So they'll like you."

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. My
secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there it
was, on the back of a kitchen chair. 

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