Today's jokes [7.1.07]

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This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

   A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father
   asked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"
   
   The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike."
   sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about
   you."

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon.
"Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the
wife's knickers off!"
"What's the rush?" his mate asked.
"The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

    A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for
   his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell exothermic (gives
   off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a
   proof."
   Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
   (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
   some variant.
   One student, however, wrote the following:
   First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
   we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
   they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
   gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As
   for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
   religions that exist in the world today.
   Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
   religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
   religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
   can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and
   death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
   increase exponentially.
   Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
   Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
   Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are
   added. This gives two possibilities:
   #1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
   enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
   until all Hell breaks loose.
   #2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
   of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
   Hell freezes over.
   So which is it?
   If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my
   Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep
   with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
   succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true,
   and so Hell is exothermic.
   The student got the only A.

The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been 
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my 
company."

"That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be 
counseling the big bosses on relations with their 
secretaries?"

"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I 
popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense 
accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever 
wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."

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