Today's stories [6.3.07]

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Something only recently discovered:

Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once. 

Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. 

2000 Presidential Election Commission

Pfizer Corp. is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon 
be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a 
power beverage for use as a mixer.
Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims: It will now be possible for a 
man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  Obviously we can no
longer call this a soft drink. This additive gives new meaning to
the names of cocktails, highballs, and just a good old fashioned
stiff drink.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount And Do.
Also, something to think about:  the long-term implications of drugs
and medical procedures must be fully considered.  Over the past few
years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than
was spent on Alzheimer's Disease research.  It is believed that by
the year 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering
around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to
do with them.

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed (Bachelor 
Of Education) Exams, which the father receives as: "Father, your daughter 
has been successful in BED."

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