Today's stories [6.27.07]

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Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging 
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness 
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a 
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized 
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms 
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the 
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart 
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife 
were reconciled.

Sign in a Japanese hotel room: 

    Please to bathe inside the tub. 

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had 
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the 
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.  
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and 
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and  
Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He 
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. 
He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue 
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

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