Today's stories [6.18.07] Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
U.S. Lawmaker Says He Is Worried About E-Mail Pregnancy Citing the case of a woman who claims she got pregnant from e-mail, an Ohio Democrat called Wednesday for a "chastity chip" for the Internet. Rep. James Traficant, known for his flamboyant rhetoric, gave a brief floor speech about a woman named Frances who claimed to have gotten pregnant through an e-mail exchange with a paramour 1,500 miles away. "That's right -- pregnant," he proclaimed, warning of the dangers of "immaculate reception." He called on Congress to go beyond "v-chips" that would protect kids from sexual content on the Internet, saying, "Its time for Congress to act. The computers do not need a v-chip. The Internet needs a chastity chip."
A while back there was a "true" story (urban legend) about a guy who was interrupted by the doorbell. Upon opening the door he found some religious nuts who were very annoying. As he was in the middle of preparing dinner, he'd gone to the door with a very large knife in his hand. At some point, he called out to his friends asking if they'd gotten virgin ready for the sacrifice. At this point, the callers fled from the home, never to return again.
When we lived in Topanga we knew a family consisting of a single father and a houseful of young boys. One morning the youngest boy came into he kitchen in time to see their cat piddle in the toaster. (Why the cat did so, nobody could ever figure out. Never had any other similar problems with the beast.) He went to tell his father and while he was out of the room one of his brothers came in and tried to make some toast. Now, at its best, cat piddle is not readily confused with Chanel No. 5, and when burned it is far, far worse. They had to leave the windows open for days, and the neighbors had comments. Now, whenever I think I'm having a bad day, I remind myself that today, at least, the cat didn't pee in the toaster. Allen H. Relieved Los Gatos Sciolist
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30