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Today's stories [6.13.07]

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Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festival
in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no bull
was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored in
the head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant, "It's just one bull
against [a town of] a thousand morons." 


1. 




Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each
prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few
prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on
the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to
criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a
treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they
can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator. 

2. 




A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
   carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
   "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!" For a moment,
   everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely
   lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
   he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
   before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
   memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved
   "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a fxxk-up!"


  

3. 



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