Today's poems [6.8.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?" 

Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger

Sent by Sarah

A nymphomaniacal nurse 
            With a curse that was worse than perverse 
                Stuck a rotary drill 
                Up her twat, for a thrill--- 
            And they carted her off in a hearse. 

               There was a young Scot in Madrid 
               Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid. 
                    When they said, "Are you faint?" 
                    He replied, "No, I ain't, 
               But I don't feel as good as I did." 

Spam Haiku



Pink tender morsel,
Glistening with salty gel.
What the hell is it?

 --------------

Ears, snouts and inards,
A homogeneous mass.
Pass another slice.

 --------------

Old man seeks doctor.
"I eat SPAM daily", says he.
Angioplasty.

 --------------

Highly unnatural,
The tortured shape of this "food":
A small pink coffin.

 - author unknown

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   June '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30